Not Too Often

Ever try cutting your nails the day after you cut them? What about trimming the grass again the next day, or getting a hair cut a few days later? It doesn't make sense to spend time doing something with little or no change.

So, why do we practice this with other parts of our lives? Like checking email every time we touch a computer, update social media status whenever we touch a phone, or check the stock market every time we look at a TV? 

We sometimes do these things more often than needed and it takes away from what we really want to do.

Some of the reasons we check things too often is that we need a sense of control, do not have steps for keeping it all in order, or have our priorities out of balance. The good news is that this can be overcome. It may not be instant, but it will get better with practice.

First, Zig Ziglar talks a lot about the wheel of life and the 7 spokes: Spiritual, Family, Intellectual, Physical, Social, Financial, and Career. He says there needs to be balance in all of them or else you go through life with a flat tire. Too much in one area tends to cause not enough in another. Too much Career ends up taking away from Family. Not enough in Spiritual and you may end up with less in Financial, and so on.

The best thing to do for an out of balance life is to make daily deposits in each area. Read a few minutes of the Bible, tell your son you love him, write a few sentences about your day in a journal, walk to work or take the stairs, call a good friend and leave a message that you've been thinking about them and praying for them, look over your budget and see what isn't needed and could go toward paying off debt, and write down some ideas for working smarter and not longer (write your next day's to-do list right before you leave and get those done first thing tomorrow morning).

Try making small deposits like these in each of the 7 areas and you'll be amazed at how much more balanced life will become.

Next, work to integrate a few simple steps to keep your life in order. Learn about Workflow to process all your incoming email so that your email Inbox is not overfull, giving you the opportunity to deal with new messages in a calm and ordered fashion. This will free you up and make sure you don't have to check your email every time you touch the computer.

With social media, realize that it's like a river, and that there is no way you can drink it all. Just dip your foot in every now and then to see how the water feels and then get out when you're ready. No pressure or urgency, just enjoy your time in and also your time out. Also consider cutting down to just a few social networks, putting quality time into a few is better than putting poor quality in to many.

Finally, Max Lucado in his book Fearless discusses the idea that there are two kinds of people. The first don't believe in God and, therefore, act as though they need to control everything because there is no one else to keep everything under control. The second are those who believe in God and, therefore, know that he is in control of it all, from the smallest ant to the giant creatures of the sea. This leaves them in a place where they don't have too worry about keeping everything under control because God is already handling it and he just wants us to be obedient to the things he says are good and those he says are bad. 

I don't believe God intended for people to do things too often. Whether that's checking email, exercising, working, or getting a hair cut. He wants us to live a balanced life where we spend quality time with Him and others.

Technology allows us to connect with one another like we have never been able to do before, but it's a tool that should help us serve to others and not get us caught in a cycle of doing less.

Right Thing, Wrong Place

I was helping my sixteen month old son put on his shirt after a bath. He got his first arm through the hole, but on the second he was pushing his arm, but it wasn't in the sleeve. He kept pushing, but nothing changed.

He was doing the right thing, but in this case it wasn't in the right place. He's gotten to the point where he knows what to do, but not always where.

How often do we do this? The right thing, in the wrong place. With relationships, jobs, health, happiness, other things. We continue to say the same things to the people we love, but don't get a new response. We continue to push through a job, but aren't satisfied with the same routine. We work on our health, but don't see new benefits. We push to acquire the things that will make us happy, but don't understand when we get them, and are not.

Just like my son, we push, push more, then push harder, just to end up with a face of frustration and not understanding what's going on. There are times when we all get this way, but there are few things we can do to make it better.

1. Watch yourself. We get so busy watching other things that we forget to pay attention to ourselves.The Bible speaks about taking care of your own house first, then helping others. I think this applies to ourselves too.

If you begin to get frustrated it usually because you think you're doing the right thing, but the results you imagined aren't coming true. This is why watching yourself is so important. Others may not tell you that you're doing something in the wrong place, so you have to know yourself well enough to recognize this, stop, then make a new (better) decision.

2. Listen. Once you realize you're frustrated, and need to make a new decision, listen for advice. Just as we've said, people won't always tell you what you're doing, but there are ways to figure out what you could do better. Listen to the people who are closest to you; spouse, parents, kids. They are all very good at dropping hints here and there, listen to them.

Most people don't like conflict and also don't like to hurt others' feelings, but we all have a natural tendency to notice how others can improve. Therefore, we get good at dropping hints here and there of how others can improve. If you're willing to listen for it, you'll hear what others are saying to try and help you.

3. Act. As soon as you've heard some of the people around you drop hints, begin to act on them. No matter how small or insignificant the recommendation might be, give it a try. Sometimes it's the little things that make the biggest difference.

These a just a few ways to make life better when you get into a time of frustration. They're certainly not meant to be the definitive things to do, but rather a few suggestions, if you're willing to listen to them.

Your Photos

We live in a time when photos are easier to take and save then ever before. We have advanced cameras that can take amazing pictures, at very fast speeds, and then share them with whoever we would like. Yet, so many of us don't use them, and most often put them on our computer and go on taking more.

It's also interesting that many people have a blog or website, but choose pictures and images taken by others. I certainly understand that many of your pictures don't need to be used this way, but there are definitely many good quality images that can be used as a whole, or in part (for example, zoom in on a hand, face, tree, building, sky, etc.)

Many of us have thousands of our own good images to look through, yet don't utilize them. This blog serves as one small example of how you can use your own images, ones that have already been taken or snapped for a particular purpose or story. 

Here are the quick steps I use (feel free to follow these or make your own):

1. Find the story. I've made it a habit to look through the pictures on my computer (I use iPhoto). Writing this blog is good for something like that. Inspiration is a bound when you look through your own recent, and older pictures. The challenging part is often making it through more than a few minutes of looking without stopping to write down ideas.

Sometimes ideas come when you're out and about. For example, I recently saw a tree route running through the sidewalk, and it inspired a story. Having a camera with you really helps with this, and most camera phones today take pretty amazing pictures, especially if you have really good lighting (mid morning and mid evening tend to be best).

2. Prepare your picture or image. Everyone has their own style and preferences, so let yours shine through. I like to make my images black and white. There's something about the details that come through when you're focused on the image and not the colors (but this is my preference and certainly not anything against using color).

Turning an image black and white is easy. I have a Mac, so all you need to do is click on the image in iPhoto, then Edit ---> Effects ----> B & W. You can also open the picture in Preview, then click Tools ----> Adjust Color ----> Move your Saturation Bar all the way to the left.

3. Finalize image. I like to add one more touch to my images. I open Keynote, then click and drag the image onto a plain white background. Then, adjust the image to about 300 x 230 pixels (this is just an estimate to give you an idea of the size, feel free to experiment) and create a reflection, Inspector ---> Graphic ---> Reflection. This gives the image a little bit of a 3D look on the website.

Now all you need to do is write a blog, add the image, and post your work. 

Using your own photos gives everything a little bit more of a 'home' feel, and not so commercial (not that commercial is bad, I just prefer things 'look like me'). So give it a try, you might find it much more inspiring and fun to use your own photos for things like this, and more!

Smile

A smile has the potential to change someone's day. Smiling helps you realize that everything can be ok, even great. An expected smile from the right person, whether you know them or not, warms you up inside and helps you through the day, and makes it easier to smile at someone to return the favor.

The trick is finding other people and opportunities to get and give smiles. This can be easier and harder than you think. But here are a few simple suggestions to get you started:

1. Start the day with a smile. You know the old cliche about getting up on the right side of the bed, so make sure the right side is the one you always get up on. Wake up, turn so your feet are off the bed, stretch, then smile. 

If you make this a habit each time you wake up, no matter what side of the bed you end up on in the morning, it will be the right one! Starting off with a smile sets the tone for the rest of the day.

(Of course, you could always push the bed against the wall, but that's not always an option for everyone.)

2. Find smilers. S. Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-fil-A, was once asked how he motivated all of his employees to smile all the time. He replied, "I hire people who smile."

How often do the people you're around smile? If you'd like to smile more often yourself, it might be beneficial to seek out friends and acquaintances who smile a lot. It's pretty much a Scientific fact that people who smile a lot have more fun.

3. Stay in places with smiling people. There are a few places that are almost guarenteed to have smiling people in them. Yours may be different, but libraries, playgrounds, YMCA's and Soup Kitchens are great places. 

There is something about books that has an unusually positive effect on people. It must be something about our human nature to be curious and learn something new. Libraries also have lots of programs for kids to get them reading early. If you hang out at the library in morning you'll notice a lot of kids running around with big smiles on their faces, its great!

Playgrounds and YMCA's have lots of active, and young, people at them. You may be surprised to see how many faces have smiles on them that aren't of school age! Sometimes you'll find the happiest people volunteering at places like this. It must be something about helping kids.

Lastly, Soup Kitchens can be a great place to find smiling people. This may be the opposite of what you think because these types of places have people down on their luck and are not happy about their circumstances. But, when you're down on your luck one of the things that will bring a smile to your face is a hot meal on a cold day. There's a certain inner smile that shines through when you hand someone a meal who needs it.

These a just a few sugesstions for finding more smiles in your day, I'm sure you can think of many more, and hope that this short list helps to find more. Once you find more smiles in your day, hopefully others will seek you out because they'd like to have more of what you've got!

Dropping Everything

My fourteen month old loves to explore, and enjoys picking things up as he goes along. Inevitably he comes to realize he can't pick up any more. He'll pause, look at each hand (full of sticks, leaves, acorns, and pine needles), then drop everything.

The excitement on his face after letting go of all of it is just as great as when he's finding new things to pick up. He looks as is if he's free, and can't wait to find and pickup something even more exciting.

It doesn't take very long for my son to realize he's holding on to too much. It also doesn't take long for him to decide to drop everything. 

As we all grow older and pickup more stuff, we tend to hold on to it all for a long time. We get excited about all the new things, and we want to keep it. Over time we get burdened by all that we've accumulated. It's a good idea to pause, look at our hands (full of material possessions, clutter, debt, anger over bad experiences or decisions, and more), and drop everything.

This doesn't mean to literally get rid of everything you have, it's more of a call to start emptying out things that you no longer need. You've used them, but now it's time to let them go. Maybe someone else will pick them up and be able to do something with it.

Here are a few ways you can start dropping everything. You don't have to do them all, or in the same way here, just take them as suggestions and start with whichever one gets you excited:

1. Your calendar. Drop everything from your calendar for a day. Just erase everything on it, wipe it clean. Don't make any plans, just be for the day. Eat some healthy foods, drink a few cups of tea, breathe, and just sit in the sun. 

If you have a very tight schedule and important activities, spend an afternoon making cancelation calls, emails, and/or text messages letting people know you won't be available the next day. Ask them to leave a message if it's urgent and you'll get back with them first thing on the day you return. 

2. Messy drawer or closet. Drop everything you've been holding on to and collecting in that drawer or closet. It's just sitting there, not being used, and could be given to someone who might really need it. 

Just take everything out, put it in a box, and drop it off at Goodwill. Chances are really good that you won't even remember what's in there after give it away. You may even feel good enough that this will spread to other drawers or closets. Soon your house will be clutter-free and you'll be happy.

3. Your wallet/purse. Drop everything out of your wallet or purse. There are some people who've been carrying stuff around in there for decades. Take out old stuff and replace it with something new. Or, don't replace it and enjoy the new space, and freedom.

Take the cash you have and drop it off at a favorite charity, or give it all to a waiter or waitress the next time you're out to eat, chances are good they're working that job because they're working hard to make it through school or strike out on their own. Just give it away and don't think about. If you keep doing things like that it will come back to you, and then some.

4. Debt. Drop all of your debt. Most people have debt because they get really excited about picking up something new, and they keep going without pausing to look at what they already have in their hands. 

Dropping debt is simple. List all of your debts smallest to largest then begin paying off the smallest one with a lot of focus. Once it's finished, take that money and apply it to the next one on the list. Now you have a debt snowball rolling and your debts will done faster than you think. My wife and I did this and we're now free from debt. 

You can do it too!

5. Stress. Drop everything that makes you stressed. I know this sounds difficult, but its not as hard as you think it is. Most of the things that cause our stress are either things we don't have control over or that happened in the past.

We carry stressful things around with us as if we have to hold on to them. Make an effort to stop beating yourself up about bad decisions you've made, people you may have hurt, bad things you may have said. Drop them all.

If you are really having a hard time with someone, give them a call. If you haven't spoken with them in years, look them up and talk with them. Tell them you're sorry. Tell them you value the relationship you have, or had, with them. Obviously, they had an impact on you or else you wouldn't be carrying around these feelings.

If there are other things you're stressed out about and you can't seem to let them go, give them to God. He wants your stresses, frustrations, anxieties, and pain. That's why he put them in your life, so that you'll come back to him for help. I Peter 5:7 says, "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."

A visit to Financial Peace Plaza to scream, "I'm debt FREE!!"